This has been such an amazing journey. The last year and a half I've witnessed God work and move in ways I never thought or imagined...His provision, His leading and direction, His peace...all of these were crucial in bringing us to this day, and to our girl! It's just unbelievable that we will be leaving tomorrow, Thanksgiving day, of all days. I don't think this is by accident...we have so much to be thankful for! He did this. He has brought us here.
"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!" Psalm 126:3
We are overwhelmed by everyone's support and excitement about our trip to adopt Lydia Kate. We would love to invite all of you to follow our journey via Facebook and this blog. Most importantly we would love for you to join us in praying for each aspect of this trip. We cannot make it thru this trip, or really any of our days, on our own strength. We are trusting God to equip us for this journey and give us the emotional endurance to go around the world to bring our daughter home. Although adoption is exciting and wonderful for us. It was be scary and uncertain and grief filled for our girl. Would y'all pray for her heart, especially? That we would be Spirit-led in bonding and attachment, and love as her new Mama and Daddy. Pray for grace and patience and rest as we all get to know one another. Can't wait to meet her...can't wait to introduce you to her! Stay tuned...mei mei here we come!
Here is our basic itinerary for our trip. I will try to give ideas of things to pray for each day as we go along. Of course, we appreciate prayers for our boys and their grandparents each day we are gone. I will try to update this blog and Facebook as much as we are able.
11/27 Fly to China @ 7:30 a.m.
11/28 Arrive Beijing @4:30 p.m. local time.
11/29 Tour Beijing: Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, the Great Wall
11/30 Fly to Hefei, Anhui (Lydia Kate's province)
12/1 GOTCHA DAY! (We expect to get Lydia Kate between 9-11 pm EST on Sunday night 11/30 and will update/post pictures as soon as we are able)
12/2 Go to Civil Affairs Office to finalize adoption.
12/3 Go to the Zoo!
12/4 Go tour BaoGongCi or possibly visit Lydia Kate's orphanage and finding spot.
12/5 Get Lydia Kate's passport and fly to Guangzhou @ 7:30 p.m.
12/6 Take Lydia Kate’s Visa photo, and do medical examination and TB test.
12/7 Sightseeing day! Tour Chen Clan Academy.
12/8 Check TB result, possibly Pearl River cruise in the evening
12/9 Consulate Appointment @ 10:00 a.m. We will have the oath-taking ceremony.
12/10 Get Lydia Kate’s visa and ride bullet train to spend the night in Hong Kong!
12/11 Leave Hong Kong heading for San Fransisco @ 12:30 p.m.
12/11 Arrive in San Francisco @ 8:30 a.m. PST. Due to an extremely long layover, we decided to stay the night in San Fransisco and enjoy a bonus adventure to somewhere we've always wanted to go together!
12/12 Head to Atlanta! We will arrive on UA1544 at 5:00 p.m. in Atlanta! We would love for you to meet us at the airport so you can see our sweet girl...an orphan no more!
Much love and many thanks to all of you for your thoughts, encouragement and prayers! See you in China!
Jason & Elizabeth
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Riverside surrender...
It's been a while since my last post...mainly, because I've been waiting to write about and introduce our daughter to you in detail. We can't do that until we receive our LOA document from China. Waiting...we are still waiting...100 days later- still waiting. So, you will all have to wait a bit longer to see her sweet face.
But, in the meantime, I'm learning, whether I like it or not, I'm learning. I change my mind moment by moment whether I want to learn...and oftentimes, to be honest, I fight it. But, He has something for me in this. He teaches us through these times when we battle with what we think is best and surrender. And you know, as teacher myself, I am a terrible student. Constantly trying to take back this process and make it work the way I think it should. Needing to remind myself hourly, that God loves our girl in a way that is far more vast than I ever could. He is working and moving behind the scenes.
I have been studying the very beginning of the life of Moses, you know, the baby in the basket beginning. I've identified with Moses' mama in a way, honestly that I've never thought of before. We now know God's big picture plan for the life of Moses...it was a big, and very important, and vital part of God's plan for His people. A plan that I seriously doubt his Mama could have ever dreamed or imagined while standing on the river bank that day. All she knew was what she needed to do out of obedience, and surrender. Trusting her God with the life of her precious son. Believing in the big picture she could not see. Believing that in her surrender, the Lord would meet her. Believing that God, the One who created her son, loved him far more than even she could as his mama.
I also have been encouraged to see how she planned and prepared for what she knew she must do in order to save her son's life. She hid him carefully for months, and I'm sure had watched carefully for the schedule and routine of the Pharoah's daughter- to be there at just the right time so her sweet baby would be seen floating in the basket she must have so carefully and meticulously constructed. She did all she could to prepare. To plan. But, at that moment of placing that basket in the river- there was a depth of faith and surrender that was required.
So, as Mamas today...we have a lot in common with Jochebed (feel free to add that to your baby name list!). We have not a clue what God's big picture plan is for our babies. But, we do know He has one. We know that He loves them, even more than we do, because He created them. So, it's in many moments where we must choose to let go or worry, or to control, that we must make this almost impossibly difficult decision...surrender. Am I believing that He sees all of the plan...that He goes before us? Am I believing He will meet me in my surrender? Am I believing that,as their Creator, He loves them with a depth I can never reach? Have I planned and carefully prepared out of obedience, following His lead, or my own?
In all honesty,the moments when I can answer yes to those questions are out numbered by the times my actions answer no. These past few weeks of waiting for the next steps in our adoption process have been brutal. I have wrestled hourly wavering back and forth between control and surrender. Trying to manipulate and plan and control things that simply are not mine to control. Then, giving myself my own private pep talk about just letting go...I'm tired of letting go. Letting go is hard. Sometimes it hurts...
In a few quiet moments this afternoon, the Lord reminded me of another mama, standing on a river bank...struggling to let go. Struggling to see the bigger picture. Struggling to hope that the decision she was making was the right one. I'm sure she'd planned and prepared. She'd wept and fretted and questioned. Coming to the ultimate conclusion, this was what she had to do. This mama was standing by the Fuyang River in rural China. She was holding her baby girl, knowing that even the love that had rooted itself deeply in the 16 days since the baby's birth was not enough to take care of the special needs she had been born with. So, she laid her baby down. By the river. Hoping for better things...hoping for an escape from the fate that would have undoubtedly come had she tried to care for her on her own....hoping for a bigger picture.
This mama was our sweet daughter's birth mother.
It is quite possible that this woman was not well acquainted with the Author of the big picture...but, as her heart broke...our amazing and loving and redeeming Father was breaking the heart of another mama, on the other side of the world to be a part of this sweet baby's big picture.
That mama was me.
So, today, I am choosing surrender, again.
Trusting the same God who made a mighty leader for His people out a of baby floating in a basket his mama made, has a big picture plan for my children as well...He's already shown to be faithful in that with my 2 brown eyed boys- both gifts from Him after seasons of great loss. And our daughter, our daughter only by way of brokeness and pain...but He is the Maker of beauty from ashes...This plan of His is already more special and beautiful and sacred than any one I could have dreamed up on my own.
But, in the meantime, I'm learning, whether I like it or not, I'm learning. I change my mind moment by moment whether I want to learn...and oftentimes, to be honest, I fight it. But, He has something for me in this. He teaches us through these times when we battle with what we think is best and surrender. And you know, as teacher myself, I am a terrible student. Constantly trying to take back this process and make it work the way I think it should. Needing to remind myself hourly, that God loves our girl in a way that is far more vast than I ever could. He is working and moving behind the scenes.
I have been studying the very beginning of the life of Moses, you know, the baby in the basket beginning. I've identified with Moses' mama in a way, honestly that I've never thought of before. We now know God's big picture plan for the life of Moses...it was a big, and very important, and vital part of God's plan for His people. A plan that I seriously doubt his Mama could have ever dreamed or imagined while standing on the river bank that day. All she knew was what she needed to do out of obedience, and surrender. Trusting her God with the life of her precious son. Believing in the big picture she could not see. Believing that in her surrender, the Lord would meet her. Believing that God, the One who created her son, loved him far more than even she could as his mama.
I also have been encouraged to see how she planned and prepared for what she knew she must do in order to save her son's life. She hid him carefully for months, and I'm sure had watched carefully for the schedule and routine of the Pharoah's daughter- to be there at just the right time so her sweet baby would be seen floating in the basket she must have so carefully and meticulously constructed. She did all she could to prepare. To plan. But, at that moment of placing that basket in the river- there was a depth of faith and surrender that was required.
So, as Mamas today...we have a lot in common with Jochebed (feel free to add that to your baby name list!). We have not a clue what God's big picture plan is for our babies. But, we do know He has one. We know that He loves them, even more than we do, because He created them. So, it's in many moments where we must choose to let go or worry, or to control, that we must make this almost impossibly difficult decision...surrender. Am I believing that He sees all of the plan...that He goes before us? Am I believing He will meet me in my surrender? Am I believing that,as their Creator, He loves them with a depth I can never reach? Have I planned and carefully prepared out of obedience, following His lead, or my own?
In all honesty,the moments when I can answer yes to those questions are out numbered by the times my actions answer no. These past few weeks of waiting for the next steps in our adoption process have been brutal. I have wrestled hourly wavering back and forth between control and surrender. Trying to manipulate and plan and control things that simply are not mine to control. Then, giving myself my own private pep talk about just letting go...I'm tired of letting go. Letting go is hard. Sometimes it hurts...
In a few quiet moments this afternoon, the Lord reminded me of another mama, standing on a river bank...struggling to let go. Struggling to see the bigger picture. Struggling to hope that the decision she was making was the right one. I'm sure she'd planned and prepared. She'd wept and fretted and questioned. Coming to the ultimate conclusion, this was what she had to do. This mama was standing by the Fuyang River in rural China. She was holding her baby girl, knowing that even the love that had rooted itself deeply in the 16 days since the baby's birth was not enough to take care of the special needs she had been born with. So, she laid her baby down. By the river. Hoping for better things...hoping for an escape from the fate that would have undoubtedly come had she tried to care for her on her own....hoping for a bigger picture.
This mama was our sweet daughter's birth mother.
It is quite possible that this woman was not well acquainted with the Author of the big picture...but, as her heart broke...our amazing and loving and redeeming Father was breaking the heart of another mama, on the other side of the world to be a part of this sweet baby's big picture.
That mama was me.
So, today, I am choosing surrender, again.
Trusting the same God who made a mighty leader for His people out a of baby floating in a basket his mama made, has a big picture plan for my children as well...He's already shown to be faithful in that with my 2 brown eyed boys- both gifts from Him after seasons of great loss. And our daughter, our daughter only by way of brokeness and pain...but He is the Maker of beauty from ashes...This plan of His is already more special and beautiful and sacred than any one I could have dreamed up on my own.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
How you can be a part...
So, if you're reading this, chances are you either know our family or know of our family and the journey we are on to adopt our daughter from China. One of the most interesting, and rewarding parts of this process for me has been the sharing and the telling of the testimony that the Lord is giving us as we wait for our sweet girl. It's been so neat to see how people I hardly know, or have known in other chapters of life are drawn to adoption. How curious they are. How many amazing questions they ask. I really believe this feeling of being drawn to the idea of adoption is because it is such a clear picture of His Gospel. I am so humbled, and thankful to be a steward of such a story! Through these conversations and questions many of you have asked about the cost, how much? why so much? where you gonna find so much? how much will all her medical expenses be? The only for sure answer I have been able to give to those 4 questions is a ball park amount of $35K for the adoption process. Honestly, I'm not sure why the governments charge so much to rescue orphans, and I've been even more unsure of how we were going to come up with $35,000! We won't know how much her medical expenses will be until we get her home. The only answer I know is obedience.
Being in this place of surrender- a stance that adoption requires- I have learned so much. But, most of all I have learned that when God calls you to something- He will make a way. I've heard lots of different and miraculous stories of God's provision in adoption- ways He has provided in many different capacities. However, for us, we knew that we had been entrusted with resources for such a time as this. So, we have worked carefully and diligently to save and nip and tuck in our own personal finances and up to this point have been able to make all of our payments in cash! Praise Him for His provision of a great job, and a hard working husband! We are coming now to the point where we will be spending about $25k in the next 6 months to bring our daughter home. Thankfully, we have received several grants, one of which I am about to share with you! And, for all of you that have asked how you could help, here's where you come in!
The grant was awarded to us by an organization called Hand In Hand. It is a matching grant, and they will match every donation, dollar for dollar up to $4,000. So, we have the potential to get $8,000 towards what is needed to bring our baby girl home! This would cover all of our final governmental/legal fees here in the U.S. as well as in China! If you would be interested in making a donation for our family we would be so humbly grateful! All of your donations are tax deductible. And, if by chance we exceed the $4,000 goal, Hand In Hand will give the amount in excess to our family as well, just not matched.
Please mail your donations, made payable to "Hand In Hand Christian Adoption". Please be sure the donation is post marked no later than September 10th!, and write "Jason and Elizabeth Davis" on the outside of the envelope only. (the ask that or name not be on the check itself for tax purposes).
Mail to:
Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc.
Jason & Elizabeth Davis
18318 Mimosa Court
Gardner, KS 66030
If you would like to learn more about Hand in Hand you can visit their website www.handinhandadopt.org, you can call at (913)248-5015, or email at handinhandadopt@gmail.com.
Thank you so much for walking this journey with our family! We would love to hear from you! and please don't hesitate to let us know if you have any questions!
And just for kicks, giggles, and a BIG thank you...here's a little sneak peak at our mei mei! Yup, she's amazing! We can't show all of her face quite yet...but what's behind that little pink heart is, well, pretty darn adorable!
Wanna know a little more about her and what special name we've chosen for her?...that's coming next!
Being in this place of surrender- a stance that adoption requires- I have learned so much. But, most of all I have learned that when God calls you to something- He will make a way. I've heard lots of different and miraculous stories of God's provision in adoption- ways He has provided in many different capacities. However, for us, we knew that we had been entrusted with resources for such a time as this. So, we have worked carefully and diligently to save and nip and tuck in our own personal finances and up to this point have been able to make all of our payments in cash! Praise Him for His provision of a great job, and a hard working husband! We are coming now to the point where we will be spending about $25k in the next 6 months to bring our daughter home. Thankfully, we have received several grants, one of which I am about to share with you! And, for all of you that have asked how you could help, here's where you come in!
The grant was awarded to us by an organization called Hand In Hand. It is a matching grant, and they will match every donation, dollar for dollar up to $4,000. So, we have the potential to get $8,000 towards what is needed to bring our baby girl home! This would cover all of our final governmental/legal fees here in the U.S. as well as in China! If you would be interested in making a donation for our family we would be so humbly grateful! All of your donations are tax deductible. And, if by chance we exceed the $4,000 goal, Hand In Hand will give the amount in excess to our family as well, just not matched.
Please mail your donations, made payable to "Hand In Hand Christian Adoption". Please be sure the donation is post marked no later than September 10th!, and write "Jason and Elizabeth Davis" on the outside of the envelope only. (the ask that or name not be on the check itself for tax purposes).
Mail to:
Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc.
Jason & Elizabeth Davis
18318 Mimosa Court
Gardner, KS 66030
If you would like to learn more about Hand in Hand you can visit their website www.handinhandadopt.org, you can call at (913)248-5015, or email at handinhandadopt@gmail.com.
Thank you so much for walking this journey with our family! We would love to hear from you! and please don't hesitate to let us know if you have any questions!
And just for kicks, giggles, and a BIG thank you...here's a little sneak peak at our mei mei! Yup, she's amazing! We can't show all of her face quite yet...but what's behind that little pink heart is, well, pretty darn adorable!
Wanna know a little more about her and what special name we've chosen for her?...that's coming next!
Monday, August 25, 2014
So...what's next?
So, now we've been called to be the Mama and Daddy of this sweet, sweet baby...how do we get her home?...and get her home fast!?
We first had to go through the process of transferring agencies. Which, went relatively smoothly. Our dossier was already in China's computer system- so, we pretty much had to have a letter sent to them from our former and new agencies confirming and requesting for our family's dossier to be moved, and designated for this particular child. That process unfortunately took about a month, which was a little longer than we had hoped! But, as soon as the transfer was complete our new agency sent them our letter of intent- which lets the Chinese government know that our family desires to adopt this specific child. The government, in turn, responds with a document approving our family as suitable to care for and meet her needs. That is the document we are waiting on right now. That document is the one that will get the ball rolling for visas and consulate appointments and then, plane tickets!! This is where we really need for you to pray with us. This document is supposed to take 2-3 months to be returned to us- we are currently on day 75 (but, who's counting!?) Would you please pray with us that we get this paper work quickly? We are really praying with confidence and hope that our sweet girl will be home with us to celebrate her first Christmas! Please pray that there are no hang ups or mistakes that would hinder this process from going through smoothly!
In the meantime...we've been busy getting ready for her! Her big brothers are so, so excited! They go in her room and look around all the time, commenting on how "she is just going to love this shade of pink!", which they are espcially proud of, because they helped to paint it!
Jason painted a daybed, and restored my old crib for her to sleep in- until she's sleeping in it, her collection of baby dolls will! There are pink hangers in her closet starting to be filled with adorable outfits, and hair bows in the drawer of the beautiful dresser that her Meme bought just for her. My mom and I picked out some amazing fabric and have made her a special blanket for her bed, pillows and a lovie to match that we will send to her in China while she's waiting for us! Her sweet picture is now on the wall in our family picture collage...and just as important we have begun to pray and ask the Lord to especially prepare our hearts as her parents to be able to love her with a special compassion, and that the transition of her into our family would be one that is covered by His peace. We've prayed for our boys and how this will affect them, but also teach them. Hoping this experience will make them more aware of the world they live in, the needs that are in it, and who God has called His people to be the solution to those needs- how God has called our family to our mei mei. And we pray for our sweet girl- who we now can picture when we think, talk and pray about- praying the Spirit would be with her even now preparing her to leave her birthplace and all she knows as familiar. That she would some how know how much we love her, the moment we meet. That she would know she is safe. That she would be a peace. Would you also pray this things with us?
...we are preparing a place and a family for her to come into and be loved, and cared for...<b>foreveri>.
And, we could not be more excited!
Many of you have asked how you could help or be a part of bringing our mei mei home!...stay tuned to find out how through an amazing matching grant opportunity we've been given!
We first had to go through the process of transferring agencies. Which, went relatively smoothly. Our dossier was already in China's computer system- so, we pretty much had to have a letter sent to them from our former and new agencies confirming and requesting for our family's dossier to be moved, and designated for this particular child. That process unfortunately took about a month, which was a little longer than we had hoped! But, as soon as the transfer was complete our new agency sent them our letter of intent- which lets the Chinese government know that our family desires to adopt this specific child. The government, in turn, responds with a document approving our family as suitable to care for and meet her needs. That is the document we are waiting on right now. That document is the one that will get the ball rolling for visas and consulate appointments and then, plane tickets!! This is where we really need for you to pray with us. This document is supposed to take 2-3 months to be returned to us- we are currently on day 75 (but, who's counting!?) Would you please pray with us that we get this paper work quickly? We are really praying with confidence and hope that our sweet girl will be home with us to celebrate her first Christmas! Please pray that there are no hang ups or mistakes that would hinder this process from going through smoothly!
In the meantime...we've been busy getting ready for her! Her big brothers are so, so excited! They go in her room and look around all the time, commenting on how "she is just going to love this shade of pink!", which they are espcially proud of, because they helped to paint it!
Jason painted a daybed, and restored my old crib for her to sleep in- until she's sleeping in it, her collection of baby dolls will! There are pink hangers in her closet starting to be filled with adorable outfits, and hair bows in the drawer of the beautiful dresser that her Meme bought just for her. My mom and I picked out some amazing fabric and have made her a special blanket for her bed, pillows and a lovie to match that we will send to her in China while she's waiting for us! Her sweet picture is now on the wall in our family picture collage...and just as important we have begun to pray and ask the Lord to especially prepare our hearts as her parents to be able to love her with a special compassion, and that the transition of her into our family would be one that is covered by His peace. We've prayed for our boys and how this will affect them, but also teach them. Hoping this experience will make them more aware of the world they live in, the needs that are in it, and who God has called His people to be the solution to those needs- how God has called our family to our mei mei. And we pray for our sweet girl- who we now can picture when we think, talk and pray about- praying the Spirit would be with her even now preparing her to leave her birthplace and all she knows as familiar. That she would some how know how much we love her, the moment we meet. That she would know she is safe. That she would be a peace. Would you also pray this things with us?
...we are preparing a place and a family for her to come into and be loved, and cared for...<b>foreveri>.
And, we could not be more excited!
Many of you have asked how you could help or be a part of bringing our mei mei home!...stay tuned to find out how through an amazing matching grant opportunity we've been given!
Monday, July 7, 2014
fear's grip...
I was awoken very early the next morning, hardly able to breathe. Gripped in fear. What were we thinking? We can’t do this! It’s just too much! Surgery...therapy...I wrestled for a few minutes...settled our youngest son, who was sick with a tummy bug, and finally fell back asleep. As a disclaimer, some of you may think this next part is crazy...I probably would have if I was reading it myself, just bear with me. When I fell back asleep I had the most vivid and real dream. Jason and I were sitting on the couch in our living room with his Dad. (Many of you know we lost Jason’s dad in March of this year to cancer and Alzheimer’s). In my dream, he was more lucid that I honestly can ever remember Him being in conversation. He began to talk to us about fear. He began to share with us that when we are rooted and established in our faith the Enemy does all he can to plant doubts and fears in our hearts and minds when God has called us to something. He told us the importance of hiding God’s Word in our hearts, so that we can draw on its truth during times of doubt. He said, “When you leave this house he will whisper lies to you. Telling you that you don’t know who you are or where you should be going! Those are the times you have to rely on your knowledge of God’s Word. Speak it to him, and he will have to flee.” At this point...he was preaching to us! Those of you who knew Kit, know that of all of the things he loved, God’s Word was what he loved most. When he began to be more and more effected by his dementia, and then cancer, Jason questioned and struggled so much with understanding why someone who had devoted so much of his memory and mind to Scripture would be allowed to just loose it all! I can’t really explain it other than to just say that the way that Kit spoke to us in that dream, he was reassuring us that it was the Enemy that had taken his memory, his mind. This, for some reason, had never occurred to us before. It provided so much encouragement and closure for us in that way. I woke up, totally believing the dream had actually happened- it was that real. I realized what a two-fold gift the dream had been- and I believe it was straight up "Old Testament", from the Lord!
I had been reminded that my God is not the source of fears. That He is enough, and so I am enough. That fear is a lie from the Enemy attempting to keep me from my calling. But, also I felt that this was an answer to this question in Jason’s heart and mind. God was not the author of his Dad’s suffering...it was the result of his incredible faith and the threat it was to the Enemy. His illness was spiritual warfare.
I laid in my bed and wept in total awe that the God I serve is that personal. When we need Him and the reassurance and peace only He can bring...He will meet us. He loves us so dearly.
It was that morning, with a tear stained face, and a scared, but excited and grateful heart that I found the answer to my two questions...
Yes, she’s our girl.
Yes, I’m ready to fight for her.
Surrender.
...the place that is the beginning of God's glory being multiplied...
May it be so, in our lives...
and in the life of this precious one He has chosen us to love.
I had been reminded that my God is not the source of fears. That He is enough, and so I am enough. That fear is a lie from the Enemy attempting to keep me from my calling. But, also I felt that this was an answer to this question in Jason’s heart and mind. God was not the author of his Dad’s suffering...it was the result of his incredible faith and the threat it was to the Enemy. His illness was spiritual warfare.
I laid in my bed and wept in total awe that the God I serve is that personal. When we need Him and the reassurance and peace only He can bring...He will meet us. He loves us so dearly.
It was that morning, with a tear stained face, and a scared, but excited and grateful heart that I found the answer to my two questions...
Yes, she’s our girl.
Yes, I’m ready to fight for her.
Surrender.
...the place that is the beginning of God's glory being multiplied...
May it be so, in our lives...
and in the life of this precious one He has chosen us to love.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
all the while He was working...
We found 3 little girls. All with the same agency. All with different special needs. All incredibly adorable. All needing a Mama and Daddy. Next step....call their agency. It was a Friday morning, so I left a message and waited...and waited...didn't hear from anyone all day! So...had to wait until Monday to finally get some more information on these sweet girls. All weekend we had talked about the what-ifs...possible outcomes...what their needs would entail. We discussed the possibility of getting two of them. It was a CRAZY weekend! If you have ever taken a pregnancy test- it felt just like that...but for 3 DAYS!!! Wondering if one of these could be our sweet girl! Monday afternoon, I finally got a phone call from a super awesome girl in the waiting child department. She knew ALL about these little girls! She shared with me pros, cons, concerns, and possible outcomes...information overload! It’s such a heartbreaking and surreal feeling to be looking at a collection of about 10 pictures (which is more than what most orphans have) and a bunch of medical notes describing a child. Those documents and pictures are the only thing they have to represent who they are. When I think of how I knew my boys by the time they were the ages of these darling girls were, I could have filled up 10,000 pages of notes about them. These girls only had 10. When Jason got home that night and we finally had the boys in bed, we sat down to begin to go through the information we had been sent. We were nervous and excited and scared...craziness. So, as we were finishing looking through the files the question was posed...”Could one of these girl’s be our daughter? Do you feel as though one of them could fit into your family?” And, without a moment’s hesitation we both said, “Yes!”...strangely enough the little girl we thought we could care for were two separate little girls! Jason knew immediately that we had found her...I felt extremely drawn to the same child as well (and you will soon see why!), but I was so scared and fearful of her disabilities, her prognosis, and whether or not I was enough to be able to care for her! She was older than we thought she would be. Her disability was not one we had considered. There were so many unknowns. Lots to process. So, we spent a very long and emotional night of discussing and praying and discussing some more. Jason, in his matter of fact way, said. “Liz, you need to answer two questions. #1 ‘Is she our girl?’ and #2 ‘Are you ready to fight for her?’...while you’re figuring out your answers, I’m going to bed...I already know mine.” Seriously! This was one of those moments when I was reminded of why, and so very grateful God gave him to me...he led me in my doubt by his faith.
As I went to bed that night, my mind was swirling 100 miles an hour! But as I laid down the Lord brought something to my mind. Dates. I had been given advice to write down dates and prayers and specific times through this process that seemed important, impactful. God reminded me that night as I lay in my bed that the time this sweet little girl was born, and left on a river bank at 15 days old was when I attended a conference with my closest friends. It was there that He wrecked my heart for the cause of the orphan, and put the calling on my life and the life of my family to be a part of the solution. He then brought to my mind 2 very difficult weeks in mid-July of 2013...knowing that God had put this calling on my heart and praying and asking for God to change my heart’s desire for adoption or to reveal to Jason that this was what He had called us to. It was a season of learning and leaning on the intercession of the Spirit on my behalf- knowing the groaning and aching of my heart. This was the time this beautiful little girl was taken from a wonderful American run foster group home, and returned to her orphanage in a very rural and poor area of China. All the while He was working....working on me...working on our family....preparing us for her.
I had a choice to make...would my faith in His calling be enough?
As I went to bed that night, my mind was swirling 100 miles an hour! But as I laid down the Lord brought something to my mind. Dates. I had been given advice to write down dates and prayers and specific times through this process that seemed important, impactful. God reminded me that night as I lay in my bed that the time this sweet little girl was born, and left on a river bank at 15 days old was when I attended a conference with my closest friends. It was there that He wrecked my heart for the cause of the orphan, and put the calling on my life and the life of my family to be a part of the solution. He then brought to my mind 2 very difficult weeks in mid-July of 2013...knowing that God had put this calling on my heart and praying and asking for God to change my heart’s desire for adoption or to reveal to Jason that this was what He had called us to. It was a season of learning and leaning on the intercession of the Spirit on my behalf- knowing the groaning and aching of my heart. This was the time this beautiful little girl was taken from a wonderful American run foster group home, and returned to her orphanage in a very rural and poor area of China. All the while He was working....working on me...working on our family....preparing us for her.
I had a choice to make...would my faith in His calling be enough?
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
...one step at a time...
So...there’s been quite a few weeks of silence on the adoption front from our family! ...time to break the silence! Throughout the beginning of the year we continued to work on and complete our dossier (group of documents compiled to represent who our family is to the Chinese government) and officially were logged in to China’s system on March 7th. That was a big and exciting day for us... the day the wait began!
As weeks went by, life continued on as usual. Busyness with school and work and the boys. In mid April I began to just feel a real restlessness in my heart. I couldn't really figure out it’s source. But, I felt the need to do something...anything...that made our sweet girl real. Something as a reminder and to busy myself during this season of waiting...to be actively waiting! Sounds crazy...I get it! But, the real crazy part, is that I decided making a quilt for her was a great way to pass the time! I asked for help from a sweet friend that is a quilting guru, and she was so kind and willing to dive into my crazy! Then, I began to ask myself if this restlessness had a purpose. What was it’s source? Was it me being impatient? Or was it a holy restlessness? So, this began a dialog between Jason and I and God.
We soon found out that the wait time for a little girl that matched our special needs checklist (a list of medical conditions or needs our family was willing to consider) was getting increasingly longer....like over two years. In the end,with this information and a lot of prayer, we came to one conclusion. God had called us to give a home to a little girl. Period. We realized that we could be waiting in “line” with 300+ other families waiting for a little girl...or, we could go to where the children were waiting in a line...much longer than 300 deep! We decided to take one step at a time, and just see what we could find out. After the first step, we came to realize that in order to change agencies there was fee, and a short waiting period for paper work to go through. But, we also found that we were still within the time requirements to be refunded half of the last agency fee we had paid. So, they more than cancelled each other out. So, we took the next step...praying God would just lead us where He wanted us to go. Lead us to her...and that’s the prayer that changed everything!...mei mei here we come!
As weeks went by, life continued on as usual. Busyness with school and work and the boys. In mid April I began to just feel a real restlessness in my heart. I couldn't really figure out it’s source. But, I felt the need to do something...anything...that made our sweet girl real. Something as a reminder and to busy myself during this season of waiting...to be actively waiting! Sounds crazy...I get it! But, the real crazy part, is that I decided making a quilt for her was a great way to pass the time! I asked for help from a sweet friend that is a quilting guru, and she was so kind and willing to dive into my crazy! Then, I began to ask myself if this restlessness had a purpose. What was it’s source? Was it me being impatient? Or was it a holy restlessness? So, this began a dialog between Jason and I and God.
We soon found out that the wait time for a little girl that matched our special needs checklist (a list of medical conditions or needs our family was willing to consider) was getting increasingly longer....like over two years. In the end,with this information and a lot of prayer, we came to one conclusion. God had called us to give a home to a little girl. Period. We realized that we could be waiting in “line” with 300+ other families waiting for a little girl...or, we could go to where the children were waiting in a line...much longer than 300 deep! We decided to take one step at a time, and just see what we could find out. After the first step, we came to realize that in order to change agencies there was fee, and a short waiting period for paper work to go through. But, we also found that we were still within the time requirements to be refunded half of the last agency fee we had paid. So, they more than cancelled each other out. So, we took the next step...praying God would just lead us where He wanted us to go. Lead us to her...and that’s the prayer that changed everything!...mei mei here we come!
Monday, November 18, 2013
still pluggin'....
I am at home with sick kiddos today, so I decided I should take advantage of the solace and update my blog! I had no idea that it has already been 2 months since my last posting! Time flies when you're up to your elbows in raising little boys and completing adoption paper work!
Just an update of where we are on this adventure...we have done all our initial application paperwork and orientations...had 2 home visits with our wonderful social worker...and have now completed the homestudy process. We just have to wait for the home study to be edited and reviewed by our agency, and we then get an opportunity to read over it and make sure everything is documented correctly. (It's apparently 17 pages long...who knew we were THAT interesting!) When we get that back- which could be this week or next we will send it off to the Department of Homeland Security for our initial approval- pretty much a form from the US government telling the Chinese government that we are suitable to adopt a Chinese child. They have up to 90 days to process that form- please pray they don't take that long! That document is the last and final piece of our dossier- the honkin' huge packet of documents that we will send to China as a representation of our family!
We are currently working on several grant applications, and fundraisers. It has been such a blessing to see all the people who have come together to help bring our mei mei home! So many have donated clothing to mei mei's closet. My best friend Sarah has donated countless hours organizing all the clothes that have been sent to us from all over the place! We will be posting information about other things you can be a part of soon...pancake breakfast, photo mini-sessions, bags, jewelry, present wrapping! But, for right now, please pray for mei mei- that she's healthy this winter, that she feels loved and secure, and that her belly is fed (that's what our boys pray every morning!), pray for our family as we continue to plan and save and prepare our hearts and the hearts of our boys, pray for protection from the Enemy in our home, pray that we would see and seize opportunities to testify of what He's doing through adoption in our family!
So, that's it in a nutshell (very, very small nutshell)...but we are pluggin' right along! It has been a tedious, but exciting process! I've thought a lot during much of the time I've spent filling out papers to convince others that we are worthy of their trust to care for our sweet girl. It's reminded me of how much time and patience God has when wooing us, calling us, whispering to our hearts..."You can trust Me. I'll take care of you. I will always love you." Yet another beautiful reminder along this journey of how it mirrors God the Father adopting us as His Sons and Daughters!
Just an update of where we are on this adventure...we have done all our initial application paperwork and orientations...had 2 home visits with our wonderful social worker...and have now completed the homestudy process. We just have to wait for the home study to be edited and reviewed by our agency, and we then get an opportunity to read over it and make sure everything is documented correctly. (It's apparently 17 pages long...who knew we were THAT interesting!) When we get that back- which could be this week or next we will send it off to the Department of Homeland Security for our initial approval- pretty much a form from the US government telling the Chinese government that we are suitable to adopt a Chinese child. They have up to 90 days to process that form- please pray they don't take that long! That document is the last and final piece of our dossier- the honkin' huge packet of documents that we will send to China as a representation of our family!
We are currently working on several grant applications, and fundraisers. It has been such a blessing to see all the people who have come together to help bring our mei mei home! So many have donated clothing to mei mei's closet. My best friend Sarah has donated countless hours organizing all the clothes that have been sent to us from all over the place! We will be posting information about other things you can be a part of soon...pancake breakfast, photo mini-sessions, bags, jewelry, present wrapping! But, for right now, please pray for mei mei- that she's healthy this winter, that she feels loved and secure, and that her belly is fed (that's what our boys pray every morning!), pray for our family as we continue to plan and save and prepare our hearts and the hearts of our boys, pray for protection from the Enemy in our home, pray that we would see and seize opportunities to testify of what He's doing through adoption in our family!
So, that's it in a nutshell (very, very small nutshell)...but we are pluggin' right along! It has been a tedious, but exciting process! I've thought a lot during much of the time I've spent filling out papers to convince others that we are worthy of their trust to care for our sweet girl. It's reminded me of how much time and patience God has when wooing us, calling us, whispering to our hearts..."You can trust Me. I'll take care of you. I will always love you." Yet another beautiful reminder along this journey of how it mirrors God the Father adopting us as His Sons and Daughters!
Friday, September 6, 2013
Isaiah's legacy...
So, now that you know the back story…I am so excited to tell all that God has done to get us to where we are today! As I shared before, the Lord had given me such a heart and passion for adoption. I felt so strongly that this would be part of our families story. I think it’s amazing the confidence that can come from the Lord when He has called you to something. This was exactly what I felt!
Long story short…God told me very clearly that His desire for our family was to adopt- but, Jason had not so clearly heard the message yet. After being unemployed for 7 months the Lord miraculously provided above and beyond what we needed and we were able to pay off all of our debt. We worked toward this goal with adoption in mind. But, when we arrived at that debt free moment, Jason just wasn’t there yet. He had not gotten the same message as me! That was so hard. I didn’t understand how I could feel so strongly and passionate about something, and he not. So, I began to pray, asking the Lord to unite our passions. And, if adoption wasn’t something we could rally behind together, that He would replace that with something we could. I asked God to make His plan clear to our family. There were several really difficult conversations during this time- when I did not so much patiently wait for the Lord to work things out. During our last of these conversations it was made clear that Jason felt strongly that this was not the time for our family to adopt, and that if and when that time came he would let me know. This was devastating for me- my hope for my calling felt like it had been deflated! The week following I continued to pray with fervor – asking the Lord to help me to be respectful and submissive in Jason’s response. And that God would just have His way with our family and the direction we would take- adoption or not.
It was very hard for me to remember that God is always working- in ways we cannot see, and would not believe!
The next Sunday morning as we sat down, and church began, one of our Pastors began to share a terrible tragedy that his family had experienced that week. He and his wife were in the long process of adopting a precious little boy, Isaiah, from the Democratic Republic of Congo. They had already been in the process close to two years, and were one document away from getting permission to travel. I cannot imagine the excitement and frustration that fill those days waiting on one piece of paper, so that you can go and bring your child home. During this wait, they received a phone call from their agency. It was bad, terrible, the worst news. Isaiah had contracted cerebral malaria, and had not survived. The son they were so close to bringing home- to a family- was gone. Needless to say there was not a dry eye in the place.
Then, Seth began to preach. He spoke of God’s faithfulness to His people, in spite of how we worry or try to change things to make them better in our own way. The message really impacted me in that I needed to just live in the here and now- love and teach and raise the children we have now. Be content with where we are now- adoption or not. Knowing and claiming that He’s got this and His plan is always the best- regardless of how much I worry and fret over how different it is from my own.
After the message during communion Jason and I were praying before taking the elements. He looked at me and said, “It’s time.” I just assumed he meant to join the church- as we had discussed this after visiting for several weeks. So, I smiled and said, “Ok.” We finished the service and got our boys from their classes and then headed out to have lunch with some friends. We’re pulling out of the parking lot and Jason looks at me and says, “So, what do you think about what I said?” And I responded in my typical long winded fashion (as you can tell from this epistle you are now reading!) I went on and on about how much I loved the church. How every week the sermons meet us right where we are. Our kids love it…etc. He starts smiling really big, and tells me that’s great and all but that “It’s time.” So, I’m super confused. He then goes on to explain that he believes that now is time to go find and rescue our daughter.
Shocked! ….full on ugly cry! He went on to explain that after hearing about this family’s loss of their son he was so impacted. A child they were committed to saving for months, passing away before you could be united with him. He talked about how devastating that would be to lose him when you were so committed to fighting for him so hard.
He looked at me with tears and conviction in his eyes that I have only ever seen a handful of times and said, “ God has called our family to the same thing and we aren’t even fighting! It’s time to fight for her. She is worth the sacrifice of time, energy, emotion, finance and risk. She deserves what Isaiah had in Seth and Melissa- our commitment to do all we can to bring her home.” And to follow such an impactful testimony with a sermon like he shared made it all the more obvious to Jason that fear and worry were holding him back from God’s calling. That God had promised to provide and protect him, so that he in turn could provide and protect our daughter.
I can’t really put into words all the emotions that I felt. Indescribable.
Later that day, I begin to imagine the pain that this family must have been feeling. Where they were in the grieving process, or how they would plan to move forward. It seems as though it would feel a lot like when I miscarried- missing someone that was never there. Then, as I began to think about all that had happened in the life of our family that day as a result of that family’s obedience to walk the long, tedious and messy road to adoption- only to have such pain at the end- we were now beginning our journey down the same long path. Trusting the Lord for each and every step, just as they had.
However, the Lord, our redeemer, promises us that in His hands nothing is wasted. No joy or pain. He makes beauty from ashes. T he story of Isaiah, the pain his family are continuing to wade in and work through right now is not in vain. His story and the bravery of his Mama and Daddy will continue to impact and reach so many.
Because of Isaiah’s story, there is a little girl somewhere in China right now- who God has chosen to be our daughter. Now, she won’t have to wait as long for her forever family because a family was willing to be transparent in their pain, and poured out to be used by His Spirit in the lives and hearts of others.
When we got home Sunday afternoon Jason gathered all the paperwork together that we had collected and began filling out forms, himself. God used Isaiah, His family, and their story to answer my many prayers. And He did so in a way that it is so clear that it could only have been Him at work. One week no adoption, the next our application is mailed.
I will forever be so grateful for the way the Lord moved and began our journey to China. It is my hope that our story in some way has reminded you that God can make beauty from ashes and that He can and will use even the hardest and most painful times in our lives for His glory! Please pray for our friends, as they continue on their journey to DR Congo to rescue to one God has for them. I know that our God is working and weaving together a tapestry so beautiful for their family…thankful for the way it will be forever woven into ours…and I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds.
And to Isaiah…an orphan no more, safe and at home in the arms of his Abba.
Thank you.
.
Long story short…God told me very clearly that His desire for our family was to adopt- but, Jason had not so clearly heard the message yet. After being unemployed for 7 months the Lord miraculously provided above and beyond what we needed and we were able to pay off all of our debt. We worked toward this goal with adoption in mind. But, when we arrived at that debt free moment, Jason just wasn’t there yet. He had not gotten the same message as me! That was so hard. I didn’t understand how I could feel so strongly and passionate about something, and he not. So, I began to pray, asking the Lord to unite our passions. And, if adoption wasn’t something we could rally behind together, that He would replace that with something we could. I asked God to make His plan clear to our family. There were several really difficult conversations during this time- when I did not so much patiently wait for the Lord to work things out. During our last of these conversations it was made clear that Jason felt strongly that this was not the time for our family to adopt, and that if and when that time came he would let me know. This was devastating for me- my hope for my calling felt like it had been deflated! The week following I continued to pray with fervor – asking the Lord to help me to be respectful and submissive in Jason’s response. And that God would just have His way with our family and the direction we would take- adoption or not.
It was very hard for me to remember that God is always working- in ways we cannot see, and would not believe!
The next Sunday morning as we sat down, and church began, one of our Pastors began to share a terrible tragedy that his family had experienced that week. He and his wife were in the long process of adopting a precious little boy, Isaiah, from the Democratic Republic of Congo. They had already been in the process close to two years, and were one document away from getting permission to travel. I cannot imagine the excitement and frustration that fill those days waiting on one piece of paper, so that you can go and bring your child home. During this wait, they received a phone call from their agency. It was bad, terrible, the worst news. Isaiah had contracted cerebral malaria, and had not survived. The son they were so close to bringing home- to a family- was gone. Needless to say there was not a dry eye in the place.
Then, Seth began to preach. He spoke of God’s faithfulness to His people, in spite of how we worry or try to change things to make them better in our own way. The message really impacted me in that I needed to just live in the here and now- love and teach and raise the children we have now. Be content with where we are now- adoption or not. Knowing and claiming that He’s got this and His plan is always the best- regardless of how much I worry and fret over how different it is from my own.
After the message during communion Jason and I were praying before taking the elements. He looked at me and said, “It’s time.” I just assumed he meant to join the church- as we had discussed this after visiting for several weeks. So, I smiled and said, “Ok.” We finished the service and got our boys from their classes and then headed out to have lunch with some friends. We’re pulling out of the parking lot and Jason looks at me and says, “So, what do you think about what I said?” And I responded in my typical long winded fashion (as you can tell from this epistle you are now reading!) I went on and on about how much I loved the church. How every week the sermons meet us right where we are. Our kids love it…etc. He starts smiling really big, and tells me that’s great and all but that “It’s time.” So, I’m super confused. He then goes on to explain that he believes that now is time to go find and rescue our daughter.
Shocked! ….full on ugly cry! He went on to explain that after hearing about this family’s loss of their son he was so impacted. A child they were committed to saving for months, passing away before you could be united with him. He talked about how devastating that would be to lose him when you were so committed to fighting for him so hard.
He looked at me with tears and conviction in his eyes that I have only ever seen a handful of times and said, “ God has called our family to the same thing and we aren’t even fighting! It’s time to fight for her. She is worth the sacrifice of time, energy, emotion, finance and risk. She deserves what Isaiah had in Seth and Melissa- our commitment to do all we can to bring her home.” And to follow such an impactful testimony with a sermon like he shared made it all the more obvious to Jason that fear and worry were holding him back from God’s calling. That God had promised to provide and protect him, so that he in turn could provide and protect our daughter.
I can’t really put into words all the emotions that I felt. Indescribable.
Later that day, I begin to imagine the pain that this family must have been feeling. Where they were in the grieving process, or how they would plan to move forward. It seems as though it would feel a lot like when I miscarried- missing someone that was never there. Then, as I began to think about all that had happened in the life of our family that day as a result of that family’s obedience to walk the long, tedious and messy road to adoption- only to have such pain at the end- we were now beginning our journey down the same long path. Trusting the Lord for each and every step, just as they had.
However, the Lord, our redeemer, promises us that in His hands nothing is wasted. No joy or pain. He makes beauty from ashes. T he story of Isaiah, the pain his family are continuing to wade in and work through right now is not in vain. His story and the bravery of his Mama and Daddy will continue to impact and reach so many.
Because of Isaiah’s story, there is a little girl somewhere in China right now- who God has chosen to be our daughter. Now, she won’t have to wait as long for her forever family because a family was willing to be transparent in their pain, and poured out to be used by His Spirit in the lives and hearts of others.
When we got home Sunday afternoon Jason gathered all the paperwork together that we had collected and began filling out forms, himself. God used Isaiah, His family, and their story to answer my many prayers. And He did so in a way that it is so clear that it could only have been Him at work. One week no adoption, the next our application is mailed.
I will forever be so grateful for the way the Lord moved and began our journey to China. It is my hope that our story in some way has reminded you that God can make beauty from ashes and that He can and will use even the hardest and most painful times in our lives for His glory! Please pray for our friends, as they continue on their journey to DR Congo to rescue to one God has for them. I know that our God is working and weaving together a tapestry so beautiful for their family…thankful for the way it will be forever woven into ours…and I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds.
And to Isaiah…an orphan no more, safe and at home in the arms of his Abba.
Thank you.
.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Step one...千里之行，始于足下
So, we are on a new and exciting journey as a family- ADOPTION! I’ve not blogged in forever- life with 2 boys is just, well, busy! But, during this special adventure that we are on I would really like to try to be more consistent about writing about our journey, experiences, and how God is working for several reasons. The first being so we can look back and remember all the happenings, and so that she can read one day all that happened while we were fighting and working so hard to bring her home! And secondly, because it’s an opportunity to share…a lot of you will be traveling down this path with us offering much support, love, prayers and encouragement in so many ways. This is the perfect format to keep you in the know of where we are, and how you can pray! And above and beyond all else…we can brag on God, how big He is, how faithful He is, and how He shows up when we walk in obedience to His calling…
Here is the beginning of the beginning…many of you know Jason is a “quote guy” so, this is for him…
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step….” -Confucius
千里之行，始于足下
Almost 2 years ago the Lord really began to burden my heart for the orphan crisis, adoption, and the role He has called the church to play as the solution. It began as something that just struck a cord in my maternal heart- thinking of all those babies without homes, families, just lying alone in beds without love. And as time went on it became a passion that can only come from God. I knew that I had to do something, that this passion was there for a reason, and that the Lord had plans to use it somehow in my life.
Ever since my freshman year of college after hearing a presentation by Stephen Curtis Chapman at a concert on adoption- Chinese adoption specifically- a seed of a dream was planted in my heart. He shared the story of their family growing through adoption, and sang the song “When Love Takes You In”. As that continued to marinate in my heart, I felt very strongly that He wanted me to seek out an opportunity to go to China and serve these sweet children who were abandoned. So, I began to scour the internet for summer mission opportunities. The one I found was through the Georgia Baptist Student Union- and Toccoa Falls didn’t have one of these. But, I continued on with the application process. It was a trip to work in an orphanage with children. I was selected to the “interview weekend” and after that was chosen as one of the 4 students who would go to China- out of over 200 applicants. Only God could’ve done that! So, that summer I spent 6 weeks in China. The week before we left our connections with the orphanage we were supposed to help with “fell through”. So, we went on anyway and worked in several cities where no IMB missionaries were currently working to get information on the people and society there. It was an amazing experience.
The country was beautiful. The people were so warm and welcoming (sometime a little too much so, as they would form a circle around us on the street and just stare!...not kidding!). But, most of all, I fell in love with the children! They were so beautiful! We worked with several schools teaching English and it was just a really special experience to see that no matter language, socioeconomic status, or distance…all children are the same!
So, while I loved China’s wall, the beautiful children, the sweet hospitable people, the gorgeous fountains and impressive city squares. I did not love the black smog that I wiped from my face each night, the smell of, well, I’m not really sure what it was sewage, garbage… the effect that their food had on my body, or the ominous,and almost tangible at times feeling of the Enemy’s presence. When our plane landed in America, and I walked out to breathe in the clean air and drink a glass of sweet tea I distinctly remember saying, “If I ever go back there…it will be to save one of those precious babies. Period.”
So….12 years later, here we are…step one.
Stay tuned...I will be writing again soon about the story of a very special little boy that the Lord used to unite Jason and I for the cause of rescuing our daughter!
Here is the beginning of the beginning…many of you know Jason is a “quote guy” so, this is for him…
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step….” -Confucius
千里之行，始于足下
Almost 2 years ago the Lord really began to burden my heart for the orphan crisis, adoption, and the role He has called the church to play as the solution. It began as something that just struck a cord in my maternal heart- thinking of all those babies without homes, families, just lying alone in beds without love. And as time went on it became a passion that can only come from God. I knew that I had to do something, that this passion was there for a reason, and that the Lord had plans to use it somehow in my life.
Ever since my freshman year of college after hearing a presentation by Stephen Curtis Chapman at a concert on adoption- Chinese adoption specifically- a seed of a dream was planted in my heart. He shared the story of their family growing through adoption, and sang the song “When Love Takes You In”. As that continued to marinate in my heart, I felt very strongly that He wanted me to seek out an opportunity to go to China and serve these sweet children who were abandoned. So, I began to scour the internet for summer mission opportunities. The one I found was through the Georgia Baptist Student Union- and Toccoa Falls didn’t have one of these. But, I continued on with the application process. It was a trip to work in an orphanage with children. I was selected to the “interview weekend” and after that was chosen as one of the 4 students who would go to China- out of over 200 applicants. Only God could’ve done that! So, that summer I spent 6 weeks in China. The week before we left our connections with the orphanage we were supposed to help with “fell through”. So, we went on anyway and worked in several cities where no IMB missionaries were currently working to get information on the people and society there. It was an amazing experience.
The country was beautiful. The people were so warm and welcoming (sometime a little too much so, as they would form a circle around us on the street and just stare!...not kidding!). But, most of all, I fell in love with the children! They were so beautiful! We worked with several schools teaching English and it was just a really special experience to see that no matter language, socioeconomic status, or distance…all children are the same!
So….12 years later, here we are…step one.
Stay tuned...I will be writing again soon about the story of a very special little boy that the Lord used to unite Jason and I for the cause of rescuing our daughter!
Monday, November 12, 2012
Back to our regularly scheduled programming...kind of...
Today marks the beginning and the ending of a season in the life of our family. As many of you know, our family has been jobless since May 21st of this year...that's almost 6 months ago. Thank you to those of you who have prayed and prayed for our family. You share a piece of this testimony too!
Today, my man went back to work.
Our God is faithful.
He really is.
Here's how I know...
The last year of our lives has been one of molding, growth, discovery, and learning. Our views and mindsets have been challenged to the core. The Lord has taught us so much of what His true calling on our lives should really look like- and while doing so, chipping away at our pride and the many strongholds in our lives in order to bring us to a point of actually understand what it means to be living out this calling. He has changed the things we are passionate about, the way we desire to spend our time and money. We began to trade things that we were taught as the norm for Christian life (not saying any of them were altogether bad) to seek out things that have more of an eternal significance and impact. Now, as we began to wander down this path we talked a lot about faith. How we must rely fully on it. How it was what would help up to become more like Him.
Then, in late May we realized it's much easier to talk and read about faith- when everything is comfy and safe. When we are really the ones still in so much control. We were brought to the beginning of a new season in our lives in which we must begin to truly let the words we read, spoke and taught become the substance by which we lived. All other securities were torn away. No income. No health insurance. No idea what the future would hold. It was a very scary place to be. But, honestly I can remember driving home on Jason's last day and saying to God, "Well, this is it. The show is all yours." And for the first time in our lives as a family- it really was. It really, really was. And in a strange way, I was so excited. (and maybe a little tiny bit freaked out)
I know from hard seasons past, blessings and leasons are reaped- our family has learned that to be true. So, I knew God had an amazing plan. As we began to try to come up with a plan and figure out where we were supposed to go and what we were supposed to do somehow my man just didn't know any of these answers. He just didn't know. At the time this was so hard and so frustrating for both of us. I kept wondering "How can he just not know what we should do?" So, I began to pray for him with an urgency and specificity that I never have prayed for him before. Now, looking back I know that this was part of the learning of this season. We were still trying to find our way to fix the problem of provision, instead of trusting fully in His provision for us.
As months passed, He provided in the unexpected. I had 5 weddings booked to do flowers during this time period- I hadn't done a wedding since before Anderson was born! I got a job keeping 2 brothers, the same age as my boys and this met a great need, and also enabled William to return to preschool in the August. Jason had strong resolve and worked tirelessly posting applications day after day after day, cutting back and paring down our expenses, and managing the money we did have. He also worked on a landscaping crew- June thru September...hottest part of the year...without one complaint. I fear I may not have been so gracious in the 100 degree heat! We received the full amount of support we needed to go on a mission trip to Detroit with our Sunday School class that has been planned since the begining of the year.
We didn't miss one bill.
No one got sick.
We went without nothing.
There is still money left over.
Our God shows up!
As we are at the end of this season I can honestly say, it has not ended at all how I thought it would. I think I fully believed it would end in some major life change, with our home packed in boxes facing the wild and unknown. Two things have come from that expectation...1- I am ok with it when and if we are asked to make a major life change and pack our home in boxes. 2- This is not the end. He is not through with us yet. These things may still come to pass. But, for now we have been given an awesome opportunity: To brag on the provision of our God when we were in need. And most importantly to allow ourselves to be used as His provision to others in need.
Today, Jason has gone back to dress shirts, commutes, meetings and flow charts. I have gone back to running the household solo, laundry, and wrangling 4 boys during the day without adult company. Things seem to have gotten back to normal..."regularly scheduled programming"...but, I assure you...the Davis' are, by God's grace, tuned in to a different channel, with a strong and passionate resolve to live a life for the King and His kingdom, by faith and only through His grace.
Thank you for those of you who traveled alongside us down this bumpy road. There were some pretty rough days- and words can't express what your encouragement meant to us...you know who you are, and we love you so very much!
Today, my man went back to work.
Our God is faithful.
He really is.
Here's how I know...
The last year of our lives has been one of molding, growth, discovery, and learning. Our views and mindsets have been challenged to the core. The Lord has taught us so much of what His true calling on our lives should really look like- and while doing so, chipping away at our pride and the many strongholds in our lives in order to bring us to a point of actually understand what it means to be living out this calling. He has changed the things we are passionate about, the way we desire to spend our time and money. We began to trade things that we were taught as the norm for Christian life (not saying any of them were altogether bad) to seek out things that have more of an eternal significance and impact. Now, as we began to wander down this path we talked a lot about faith. How we must rely fully on it. How it was what would help up to become more like Him.
Then, in late May we realized it's much easier to talk and read about faith- when everything is comfy and safe. When we are really the ones still in so much control. We were brought to the beginning of a new season in our lives in which we must begin to truly let the words we read, spoke and taught become the substance by which we lived. All other securities were torn away. No income. No health insurance. No idea what the future would hold. It was a very scary place to be. But, honestly I can remember driving home on Jason's last day and saying to God, "Well, this is it. The show is all yours." And for the first time in our lives as a family- it really was. It really, really was. And in a strange way, I was so excited. (and maybe a little tiny bit freaked out)
I know from hard seasons past, blessings and leasons are reaped- our family has learned that to be true. So, I knew God had an amazing plan. As we began to try to come up with a plan and figure out where we were supposed to go and what we were supposed to do somehow my man just didn't know any of these answers. He just didn't know. At the time this was so hard and so frustrating for both of us. I kept wondering "How can he just not know what we should do?" So, I began to pray for him with an urgency and specificity that I never have prayed for him before. Now, looking back I know that this was part of the learning of this season. We were still trying to find our way to fix the problem of provision, instead of trusting fully in His provision for us.
As months passed, He provided in the unexpected. I had 5 weddings booked to do flowers during this time period- I hadn't done a wedding since before Anderson was born! I got a job keeping 2 brothers, the same age as my boys and this met a great need, and also enabled William to return to preschool in the August. Jason had strong resolve and worked tirelessly posting applications day after day after day, cutting back and paring down our expenses, and managing the money we did have. He also worked on a landscaping crew- June thru September...hottest part of the year...without one complaint. I fear I may not have been so gracious in the 100 degree heat! We received the full amount of support we needed to go on a mission trip to Detroit with our Sunday School class that has been planned since the begining of the year.
We didn't miss one bill.
No one got sick.
We went without nothing.
There is still money left over.
Our God shows up!
As we are at the end of this season I can honestly say, it has not ended at all how I thought it would. I think I fully believed it would end in some major life change, with our home packed in boxes facing the wild and unknown. Two things have come from that expectation...1- I am ok with it when and if we are asked to make a major life change and pack our home in boxes. 2- This is not the end. He is not through with us yet. These things may still come to pass. But, for now we have been given an awesome opportunity: To brag on the provision of our God when we were in need. And most importantly to allow ourselves to be used as His provision to others in need.
Today, Jason has gone back to dress shirts, commutes, meetings and flow charts. I have gone back to running the household solo, laundry, and wrangling 4 boys during the day without adult company. Things seem to have gotten back to normal..."regularly scheduled programming"...but, I assure you...the Davis' are, by God's grace, tuned in to a different channel, with a strong and passionate resolve to live a life for the King and His kingdom, by faith and only through His grace.
Thank you for those of you who traveled alongside us down this bumpy road. There were some pretty rough days- and words can't express what your encouragement meant to us...you know who you are, and we love you so very much!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
...plans formed long ago....
Today is a very special, and very exciting day in the life of our family.
Today holds events that are the culmination of many, many prayers and the faithfulness of our God to answer them.
Today Jason and I will be going on a mission trip together.
Today 8 young couples from our church will be uniting in 1 purpose...to GO.
You see, 7 years ago, shortly after Jason and I were married I began to pray. I began to pray that there would be a place for me, a place for us, a place for young couples like us, in our church to serve God. I prayed for friends. I prayed for a feeling of belonging to something greater than myself.
Today represents, in a way bigger than I imagined, an answer to those prayers. Over the last 4 years God has been working in the heart of our Pastor to encourage growth and involvement in our church from our peer group. He's supported us, and challenged us. There have also been countless hours spent planning and praying and planning some more to create a "niche" for young couples. Beginning with Nathan and Miriam Jones...Dino and Marsha...Craig and Carey and us...and now Brian and Tamara and Trent and Elissa have joined in! What a privilege it has been to actually be a part of the answer to my prayers! We now have 2 young couples classes...and we are determined to bring glory to His name- together! The amount of growth and work that the Lord has done in our lives through small groups, Radical and all of our discussion about God's Word encourages my heart, and blows me away! We are praying that as our name says, we will truly be a catalyst for His glory...starting in our marriages, our homes, our church and to the uttermost parts...and now we are going, 16 of us are going! 7 years ago, I prayed for a Sunday School class, and now we are going- together!
Not only now do we have a place of ministry where we belong and are priviledged to serve, the Lord has surrounded me with the most amazing group of women! We are all young mommies in the "trenches" of toddlerhood trying to make our mark on our children, our homes, and the world around us. What an answer to prayer all of you are in my life!
Praising God today for all this day will hold...Detroit here we come!...but also for all that it shows that God has done! He is so faithful...He is alive and working in our midst, and for that I am so humbly thankful.
O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders, Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness.
-Isaiah 25:1
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Smelly Church
A week ago today, I celebrated Easter Sunday in San Francisco with my sister, brother-in-law and their sweet babies at the church they have been serving at while in seminary. This experience, tied in with a book I've been reading, and a lot that God has been teaching me, has taken me all week to process. There is just so much there, I need to get it out in writing, share it, and pray that it encourages you and spurs you on to follow His calling more closely.
We walked into the sanctuary of a beautiful, old building (actually, the oldest Baptist church in California)...it was bright, and warm and filled with many faces, vibrant. Worship music was playing through the sanctuary and you could tell there was a celebration that was about to get underway! We found our seats and a few minutes later, after the service started and we were worshiping I smelled something...something that I am not accustomed to smelling at church...it was the strong, very strong, stench of alcohol and cigarette smoke, and body odor. I immediately wrinkled my nose, and undoubtedly look down it at the same time. As I stood there celebrating my risen Lord, He spoke to my heart... "This is how I want my church to smell..." for, while it smelled of sin and a rough life lived on the streets of the man sitting behind me, the Lord reminded me that His house, and most importantly His Son whose redemption we were celebrating was for this man too. Tears began to flow down my face as this soaked into my soul. God has called us, the Church, to be His hands and feet to these people. People who we often don't understand, look down upon, and definitely don't accept. His blood was shed for them too. It broke my heart that my initial reaction was disgust and condemnation. Throughout this past week I've thought a lot about what this means for me, where I am...and honestly, I don't exactly know the specific answer to that, other than change...change in how I look at His people, created in His image, change in how I treat others that are different than me, change in the way that I serve others, change in how I "do" church...
It so encouraged my heart to see such a diverse body of believers celebrating our risen Lord. The presentation that was given of the Gospel was in the context of what the people of this culture could relate to and understand (this involved very different "verb-age" than what you would hear in a church in the south). It so challenged me to question whether I meet people where they are, or just with what I am familiar with. I was blown away, and convicted, as people clapped and cheered, not for a home run or a touch down (although it was a similar response), but as new brothers and sisters (some of whom were homeless members of the community) were baptized. This so humbled me to think about the stale and jaded "golf clap" that baptisms often receive from me. Someone's life being transformed and redeemed is worth cheering for! This reaction posed such a unified front of His Church to anyone, from any walk of life that would have come into this house of worship. All of these different pieces of the puzzle of this experience, however, were all brought together with what I knew to be the "glue" behind this church. I knew that in months previous this church has not been such an exciting place. I knew of the sacrifice that was involved. The sacrifices were given by several young families, with young children (one of them being a family that is very special, and dear to my heart) that answered a calling. A call to leave their family. Leave the comforts of home and friends and grandparents and church in the "Bible Belt"... to come to San Francisco where God had great and mighty plans to use them for His glory. He needed them to begin restoring and rebuilding His Church. They came to a city so dark and far from knowing their great need...to show them the love of a Savior. A Savior who lived and walked and ministered among those who seemed unlovable and unlikely and, to many, unworthy.
This beautiful Easter morning God revealed to me that He would want His Church to be "smelly"...for this is evidence that we are truly His hands and feet...showing His pure and selfless love, and extending His precious grace to those who need Him most.
Thank you First Baptist San Francisco for showing me a fresh and new glimpse of Christ’s love for His people.
We walked into the sanctuary of a beautiful, old building (actually, the oldest Baptist church in California)...it was bright, and warm and filled with many faces, vibrant. Worship music was playing through the sanctuary and you could tell there was a celebration that was about to get underway! We found our seats and a few minutes later, after the service started and we were worshiping I smelled something...something that I am not accustomed to smelling at church...it was the strong, very strong, stench of alcohol and cigarette smoke, and body odor. I immediately wrinkled my nose, and undoubtedly look down it at the same time. As I stood there celebrating my risen Lord, He spoke to my heart... "This is how I want my church to smell..." for, while it smelled of sin and a rough life lived on the streets of the man sitting behind me, the Lord reminded me that His house, and most importantly His Son whose redemption we were celebrating was for this man too. Tears began to flow down my face as this soaked into my soul. God has called us, the Church, to be His hands and feet to these people. People who we often don't understand, look down upon, and definitely don't accept. His blood was shed for them too. It broke my heart that my initial reaction was disgust and condemnation. Throughout this past week I've thought a lot about what this means for me, where I am...and honestly, I don't exactly know the specific answer to that, other than change...change in how I look at His people, created in His image, change in how I treat others that are different than me, change in the way that I serve others, change in how I "do" church...
It so encouraged my heart to see such a diverse body of believers celebrating our risen Lord. The presentation that was given of the Gospel was in the context of what the people of this culture could relate to and understand (this involved very different "verb-age" than what you would hear in a church in the south). It so challenged me to question whether I meet people where they are, or just with what I am familiar with. I was blown away, and convicted, as people clapped and cheered, not for a home run or a touch down (although it was a similar response), but as new brothers and sisters (some of whom were homeless members of the community) were baptized. This so humbled me to think about the stale and jaded "golf clap" that baptisms often receive from me. Someone's life being transformed and redeemed is worth cheering for! This reaction posed such a unified front of His Church to anyone, from any walk of life that would have come into this house of worship. All of these different pieces of the puzzle of this experience, however, were all brought together with what I knew to be the "glue" behind this church. I knew that in months previous this church has not been such an exciting place. I knew of the sacrifice that was involved. The sacrifices were given by several young families, with young children (one of them being a family that is very special, and dear to my heart) that answered a calling. A call to leave their family. Leave the comforts of home and friends and grandparents and church in the "Bible Belt"... to come to San Francisco where God had great and mighty plans to use them for His glory. He needed them to begin restoring and rebuilding His Church. They came to a city so dark and far from knowing their great need...to show them the love of a Savior. A Savior who lived and walked and ministered among those who seemed unlovable and unlikely and, to many, unworthy.
This beautiful Easter morning God revealed to me that He would want His Church to be "smelly"...for this is evidence that we are truly His hands and feet...showing His pure and selfless love, and extending His precious grace to those who need Him most.
Thank you First Baptist San Francisco for showing me a fresh and new glimpse of Christ’s love for His people.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
our happy ever after...
So, at the end of reading my mom's morning challenge blog from a group I'm in with some of my favorite girls....she posed a challenge to blog about your love story on this special day of luuuvvv! So, that is just what I am going to do! I think that reliving those early days of being oh so oblivious to the outside world, and even sometimes the not so glamorous days you spend together can be such a healthy thing to do! I find that it can bring an attitude of gratefulness to my heart for how the Lord numbered my steps, and then our steps together! So, here goes...
Our story started at Toccoa Falls College in the fall of 2001...there was this guy with exceptionally broad shoulders that I passed on my way to class in the Woerner missions building everyday. He would always smile at me and say, "Hey Liz!"...there were 2 things that were really weird about this..1- I had NO CLUE who he was, what his name was or how he knew me..and 2- NObody called me "Liz" except for very close friends from home and my family....really weirded me out! I told my room mate about it and from then on we coined him (whoever he was) "stalker boy". Poor guy! Come to find out he and his buddy had a bet going to see how long it would take for me to stop and ask him what his name was...well, sorry, I never did- oops! :-)
Several months later, I returned back to campus after Christmas. Sarah (my closest friend from high school who also went to Toccoa) had returned for the mini-semester they offered in January, but I stayed home to work. While I was gone she just made herself a whole new big group of friends, and wouldn't you just know stalker boy was in it! :-) Turns out his name was Jason, but everyone called him "JD". He was one of those kind of guys that was just so super nice to everyone, friends with everyone, but just friends with everyone. As I got to know him a little more I realized that he was funny, really goofy, but also very generous- always helping anyone out who needed it.
At the end of March Spring break was upon us... Sarah and I were having this conversation in the dining hall one night about how we just HAD to go to the beach...just kinda dreaming. Jd and his roommate Joel were sitting with us and they said, well, let's just go! So, 2 days later, we did! Looking back this was really not the best looking of situations- 2 guys, 2 girls, 2 tents...oops! Just goes to show how innocent it really was! We actually, looking back in hind sight, could've most definitely been "excused" from TFC for our little camping excursion! Oh, well, in the words of Mr.B..."Some things are worth getting gratis for!" Anyway, I got to really know JD on this camping trip. From the moment we got to our camp site he just took care of things- pitching the tent, making the fire, cooking dinner, etc...We had SO much fun! I remember telling Sarah one night, "He's going to make a really good husband to someone one day." Not having any idea or interest in it being me he would be a good husband to! Anyway, in the weeks following spring break the 4 of us were together all the time- along with a few other stragglers!- Sarah and Joel declared their love and intentions for one another (awww...). But, we were still just friends. Around May, however, my feelings began to grow a little deeper for this friend who I had come to know so well! There was one night when a bunch of us went to Lake Hartwell and spent the day swimming and just hanging out, then had a big bon fire that night. We after flirting relentlessly all day, JD put his arm around me at the campfire...and the next day came DTR #1 (for those of you who didn't go to Bible college where people are actively on the hunt for a spouse, that stands for "Define The Relationship". He proceeded to tell me that he thought I was great, but didn't want to go out with me just because he knew I liked him, like he had so many other girls. Wow, that was one I'd never heard before! Ouch! Well, fast forward about 2 more months...leaving college to go home in May I realized I was in love with this friend of mine...and a few days later boarded a plane for China. The whole time I was in China I thought all about him and missed him terribly, well, I missed everything USA related terribly! When I flew into Atlanta at 5:30 a.m....there he was! So, let's face it, 5:30 a.m. kinda seals the deal! We've been together ever since!
Looking back over the past 10 years since we became "JD & Liz" it is so encouraging to see how we have changed each other, challenged each other and learned to love each other so much more! I am so thankful for the man God has given me, and feel honored to be his bride. It's such a blessing to go through life not just living and loving someone, but also serving by their side. I have a sneaking suspicion that the next 10 years of our lives are going to be even more action packed than these first 10. I'm so excited to share them together for His glory!
Friday, January 27, 2012
freedom...
After a really amazing and timely sermon at our church this past Sunday morning, I have been contemplating the act of forgiveness. We all have bumps, bruises and scrapes on our lives from others who have hurt us. But, some of us have deep, deep wounds that are woven into the make up of who we are. We have a choice of what to do with these wounds...will we let them fester and continue to bleed into our everyday lives, how we live and the person we will become? or will we let go of the hurt that has been forced into our lives and live a life of freedom in Christ, the One who painted to perfect picture of forgiveness for us?
As I’ve talked with a friend about the need for forgiveness in her life, it’s brought one of my greatest scars to mind...it’s made me think about the process I went through to get to the point that I am at in my life. The Lord has brought healing, but it has not come easily...and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that a little “band-aid” is needed from time to time. I found as I was praying over and reflecting through what I had found forgiveness to be, that the easiest way to define it was just listing things out. I pray that if you are at a point in your life where you are dealing with a broken or damaged relationship, that you would take these words to heart. It may seem easiest to move on with your life without that person or issue being resolved, but there are chains and bondage that come along with that choice. It's been in my experience that those things can greatly hinder your walk with the Lord, and your ability to serve others in His name. Seek the freedom we have through Christ's forgiveness for us in the relationships in your own life...
Forgiveness is...
-An on going process, sometime weekly, daily, hourly...
-A commandment from the God we serve.
-Inviting peace into our lives
-Freedom from the captivity that other’s actions can have on our lives
-We are given the perfect example of what it should look like through Christ’s death.
-It’s limitless, boundless, unending and full of grace....all these things can only take place when we ourselves have accepted forgiveness from Him.- Then, and only then, we can rely on Him to help up in forgiving others.
-Oftentimes a one-sided “transaction”- It cannot be dependent on whether or not an apology or forgiveness is asked in return.
-It must be a decision and an attitude that you purpose in your heart, regardless of the response, or lack of response, it may elicit.
-Forgiveness is an attitude, it’s a way of life.
-Forgiveness is getting to a place where you can let go. Yes, it is an ongoing process, but when you truly forgive you get to the point where it no longer dictates how you live your life, how you feel about life, and how you serve others.
-Forgiveness is a choice to love- without condition.
-We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.
On of the most influential women of God in my life once said this, after surviving years in a Nazi Concentration Camp..
"Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you." – Corrie Ten Boom
...just let go...let Him steady your heart, as you strive to live after His perfect example!
Here's a new song by Kari Jobe that was a great encouragement to my heart as I thought about all I wanted to share with this special friend through this post...hope that it's a blessing to you too!
"We are to forgive so that we may enjoy God's goodness without feeling the weight of anger burning deep within our hearts. Forgiveness does not mean we recant the fact that what happened to us was wrong. Instead, we roll our burdens onto the Lord and allow Him to carry them for us." -- Charles Stanley, Landmines in the Path of the Believer
As I’ve talked with a friend about the need for forgiveness in her life, it’s brought one of my greatest scars to mind...it’s made me think about the process I went through to get to the point that I am at in my life. The Lord has brought healing, but it has not come easily...and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that a little “band-aid” is needed from time to time. I found as I was praying over and reflecting through what I had found forgiveness to be, that the easiest way to define it was just listing things out. I pray that if you are at a point in your life where you are dealing with a broken or damaged relationship, that you would take these words to heart. It may seem easiest to move on with your life without that person or issue being resolved, but there are chains and bondage that come along with that choice. It's been in my experience that those things can greatly hinder your walk with the Lord, and your ability to serve others in His name. Seek the freedom we have through Christ's forgiveness for us in the relationships in your own life...
Forgiveness is...
-An on going process, sometime weekly, daily, hourly...
-A commandment from the God we serve.
-Inviting peace into our lives
-Freedom from the captivity that other’s actions can have on our lives
-We are given the perfect example of what it should look like through Christ’s death.
-It’s limitless, boundless, unending and full of grace....all these things can only take place when we ourselves have accepted forgiveness from Him.- Then, and only then, we can rely on Him to help up in forgiving others.
-Oftentimes a one-sided “transaction”- It cannot be dependent on whether or not an apology or forgiveness is asked in return.
-It must be a decision and an attitude that you purpose in your heart, regardless of the response, or lack of response, it may elicit.
-Forgiveness is an attitude, it’s a way of life.
-Forgiveness is getting to a place where you can let go. Yes, it is an ongoing process, but when you truly forgive you get to the point where it no longer dictates how you live your life, how you feel about life, and how you serve others.
-Forgiveness is a choice to love- without condition.
-We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.
On of the most influential women of God in my life once said this, after surviving years in a Nazi Concentration Camp..
"Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you." – Corrie Ten Boom
...just let go...let Him steady your heart, as you strive to live after His perfect example!
Here's a new song by Kari Jobe that was a great encouragement to my heart as I thought about all I wanted to share with this special friend through this post...hope that it's a blessing to you too!
"We are to forgive so that we may enjoy God's goodness without feeling the weight of anger burning deep within our hearts. Forgiveness does not mean we recant the fact that what happened to us was wrong. Instead, we roll our burdens onto the Lord and allow Him to carry them for us." -- Charles Stanley, Landmines in the Path of the Believer
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tap dancing...
I am the mother of a tap dancer. Chances are, if your child is 3, you are too. We spend most of our days dancing around on the line between obedience and disobedience, and it is not fun! After our “Dream Come True #2” was born in February I half way expected some changes in behavior, jealousy...and all those wonderful things that come along with having to share the throne when you are used to being Prince. But, we are now almost 7 months out from our little brother’s birth-day and we are still just dancing away! I have been coasting along at my very wits end of weeks now, not really knowing what to do- and having such a hard time feeling like a failure as a Mama.
Enter, God.
I had a very heartbreaking “aha” moment about a week ago. The Lord spoke to my heart (because I took a break from my miserable pity party to listen!) and I realized that I had not been praying in a very specific way for these needs in the life of my family. During this time I was reading chapter 3 in the book Radical, by David Platt. This chapter focuses on coming to the end of ourselves and relying on His power and His Spirit to accomplish what He would have in our lives- then He receives the glory. I realized that all along there had been a life source right in my own heart that I had failed to tap into. The reason that nothing was proving effective was because I was relying on my own wonderful ideas and strategies- and well, that was not working so well! I have begun to just specifically pray throughout the day for my brown eyed boy. Asking God to just give me a window into his little mind, the ability to understand his heart, and truth to speak into His life. I have come to realize that no matter how many parenting books I read (although I think these are helpful), no matter how much advice I can glean from others- the power of God is the only thing in this world that can change hearts- beginning with mine.
As I write this, I’m coming to the realization that we tap dance with God too- back and forth on the line between doing things on our own and relying on His perfect power.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5
There’s no denying the message in this verse of scripture. We can do nothing without Him! So, as I continue this journey of retraining my dance steps as well as those of my little boy- I am trusting in Him for it all.....and thankful for the opportunity for God, as Platt puts it, “to exalt my inability” in order to come to a place of reliance on Him and the power only He can provide.
PS- If you know the Mama of a 3 year old...take a minute to pray for her!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Crying Rocks
"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the rocks will cry out." - Luke 19:40
So....it's been such a long time since I blogged and let me just tell you that God has been doing some good stuff in the life of my family that I have failed to share! The passage above is a quote from Jesus- he tells the Pharisee's this as the Disciples are shouting and praising Him as He entered Jerusalem for all the amazing things that they had seen Him do in His ministry. As Christians part of our witness and ministry here on Earth comes from the sharing of all the good things He has done in our lives. To me, this is especially important when it is an answered prayer or the continuation of Him revealing His perfect plan for our lives. In our case, there were many people who prayed for us during the times that I have previously posted about on my blog- wading through the loss of another sweet baby and trying my best to make lemonade out of the lemons of heartache and loss. In other cases, some of you were in the thick of it yourselves after a similar loss. We drew encouragement from one another- we shared our stories with one another, and the Lord used that as a tremendous blessing in my life.
Shame on me for taking so long to share with you what God has done in an answer to many of yours and our prayers...the rocks must have been crying out for sure on our behalf for not proclaiming His goodness in our lives! So, here's the good news!....I am 22 weeks pregnant with another sweet little man that is due to arrive on February 10th! We are so excited and so thankful that once again God has shown His goodness in our lives, not only through pain and loss but, also through tremendous blessing! A lot of you reading this probably already know about Anderson, but I just felt compelled to put in writing that the God we serve is so good, so sovereign, and always right on time! If you are in a valley right now, know He is with you- as He was with me during those dark days this spring. But, take comfort in the fact that joy comes with the morning!- and He will be there too! (so don't forget to recognize Him in those times as well!) As I laid looking at my sweet little boy dancing and wiggling around on the ultrasound screen yesterday I for a moment remembered those sad times when all there was on the screen was stillness- I was overcome with gratefulness to the God I serve, for He knew exactly what He was doing all along...
Thank you Lord for our 2 little boys, for your faithfulness, and all of us always having a reason to give you praise!
So....it's been such a long time since I blogged and let me just tell you that God has been doing some good stuff in the life of my family that I have failed to share! The passage above is a quote from Jesus- he tells the Pharisee's this as the Disciples are shouting and praising Him as He entered Jerusalem for all the amazing things that they had seen Him do in His ministry. As Christians part of our witness and ministry here on Earth comes from the sharing of all the good things He has done in our lives. To me, this is especially important when it is an answered prayer or the continuation of Him revealing His perfect plan for our lives. In our case, there were many people who prayed for us during the times that I have previously posted about on my blog- wading through the loss of another sweet baby and trying my best to make lemonade out of the lemons of heartache and loss. In other cases, some of you were in the thick of it yourselves after a similar loss. We drew encouragement from one another- we shared our stories with one another, and the Lord used that as a tremendous blessing in my life.
Shame on me for taking so long to share with you what God has done in an answer to many of yours and our prayers...the rocks must have been crying out for sure on our behalf for not proclaiming His goodness in our lives! So, here's the good news!....I am 22 weeks pregnant with another sweet little man that is due to arrive on February 10th! We are so excited and so thankful that once again God has shown His goodness in our lives, not only through pain and loss but, also through tremendous blessing! A lot of you reading this probably already know about Anderson, but I just felt compelled to put in writing that the God we serve is so good, so sovereign, and always right on time! If you are in a valley right now, know He is with you- as He was with me during those dark days this spring. But, take comfort in the fact that joy comes with the morning!- and He will be there too! (so don't forget to recognize Him in those times as well!) As I laid looking at my sweet little boy dancing and wiggling around on the ultrasound screen yesterday I for a moment remembered those sad times when all there was on the screen was stillness- I was overcome with gratefulness to the God I serve, for He knew exactly what He was doing all along...
Thank you Lord for our 2 little boys, for your faithfulness, and all of us always having a reason to give you praise!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Raising Bubble-wrapped Christians
So...it's been forever since I sat down and "blogged"- so sorry, May in the teacher world is CRAZY! But, alas, summer has arrived! And for this Kindergarten teacher, summer is here indefinitely! I turned in my "teaching hat" and have decided after lots of praying and letting go to be a stay at home Mommy to my brown eyed boy! I had the choice to return to teaching full-time, and to be honest, I was not willing to give up time with my favorite little guy...they're only little once- and teaching will always be there! We've had a great summer so far- vacation with out best friends in St. Simons for the 2nd year was a blast!
...And we are just in awe of all God is doing in our lives and the lives of our family! We are learning that sometimes the waiting on God for what the future will hold can be quite a challenge, you know that He's brought you through the past, and the right now is, well pretty darn good...so, we are just hangin' on to His hand and trying to enjoy the ride! There's lots more I could say here- but, that will come later! The thing I really wanted to share (and what I titled my post about) is a chapter I read in my devo. this a.m. I'm reading "Out of the Spin Cycle- Devotions to Lighten Your Mother Load", by Jen Hatmaker. AMAZING applications, with some pretty entertaining stories and humor- would highly recommend it to all you Momma's out there! Anyway, the chapter that I read today was call "Nacho Average Bunny". Hatmaker tells a story of a little Hispanic boy in a street VBS program that draws a picture of a cuddly bunny rabbit holding a knife- go figure! She paralleled this to a passage in Matthew 10:16...
"I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be
as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."
Jesus said this to his disciples while He was commissioning them to go out into the world. Hatmaker goes on to say that "shrewd" in the original Greek meant "wise and prudent"- constant awareness, discernment, saying the right thing at the right time. She goes on to compare and apply that to how we should be as Mommy's ....
"It's the opposite of clueless. It's the mom who sizes up a situation and watches for social cues and red flags...It's the Mom who realizes she's parenting in an ever-changing world full of landmines and trapdoors. Shrewd parenting is ever diligent, never allowing apathy or naivete' to blind us while the enemy claims our children."
Wow! That was so powerful to me- I've been learning a lot about specifically praying for William, for his future plans, his health, growth and protection. But this made is very black/white to me that even the smallest of our children are a target of the enemy! Hatmaker then addressed the next part of the verse that refers to "being as innocent as doves". The meaning of this passage can be misconstrued and used in making the decision to, "avoid the landmines, raise their children in innocence and choose to be "shrewd" by simply sequestering them from the world. If we create a Utopian environment, bubble-wrapped in Christian sub-culture, then perhaps our kids will emerge as Jesus Juniors."
Ouch! Isn't this often times what a lot of us try to do with our children, only socializing with our safe church friends, at church pre-school, church play groups...This seems like the right thing to do, right? This paragraph caused me to look back over relationships I've had in the past- some of these were "bubble wrapped" children, and unfortuately, because they were not exposed to what Jesus intended for the rest of this commissioning purposed, when they tore off their bubble wrap and entered in to the real world, they became everything but "Jesus Juniors". They were devoured by the enemy through things that were unfamiliar and interesting to them. The innocence mentioned in this passage refers not to all the things we as Christians do or do not do, but that we are "inoffensive".
As the devotion reads on the author points to the very first passage of scripture that very explicitly states that He is sending the disciples OUT! Not to the church next door, or to a different Christian school (although there are definite needs there). He was sending His disciples (which we now have the privilege of being) out into the places were He went. She goes on to say, "Jesus sent us into this broken world not to defend him, but to represent him. We are to talked to those he talked to, say the kinds of things he said, and love those he loved- without polluting our message with judgment and offensiveness. We have missed the point if our worldview involves fighting against culture as our enemy; we imitate our Savior when we fight for culture as loved people who have yet come to know their Creator."...that statement got to me big time. It's just so much easier to live our separate lives away from things we don't understand or agree with. But, Jesus sees these people as broken and lonely and desperate for Him.
Okay, so I realize I have not actually written the majority of this post myself, but just felt led to put it out there! I would LOVE to hear your thoughts and reactions to it- I will close with the most impacting part of the chapter for me- this is the kind of Mama I want to be, so that William with be a man of God that sees the "God-shaped" hole in the hearts of people, before the differences in the way they choose to live.
"We do our children a tragic disservice to raise them in a seclusion, falsely detaching them from the world they've been sent to help redeem (that's why our kids are here!). What kind of disciples are we making when our children enter the real world as shocked and clueless young adults, ill-equipped to connect with the spiritually disoriented and unable to make sense of their environment? In an effort to protect their innocence, we send them out naive and unprepared: bunnies without knives, vulnerable, defenseless. Your kids should be praying regularly for the kids in the school and neighborhood. They should learn to befriend the loner, the loser, the lost. They need to hear from you, "we don't judge. We love." Be the happy home where people apart from God feel welcomed. They will learn innocent shrewdness-or not- from you. It is not your responsibility to raise perfect prototypes of holiness, fir to set on a pedestal and admire. Your job is to send your children into this world as disciples who understand their mission and who will contend for God's glory!"
Whew! Can I get am amen!
...And we are just in awe of all God is doing in our lives and the lives of our family! We are learning that sometimes the waiting on God for what the future will hold can be quite a challenge, you know that He's brought you through the past, and the right now is, well pretty darn good...so, we are just hangin' on to His hand and trying to enjoy the ride! There's lots more I could say here- but, that will come later! The thing I really wanted to share (and what I titled my post about) is a chapter I read in my devo. this a.m. I'm reading "Out of the Spin Cycle- Devotions to Lighten Your Mother Load", by Jen Hatmaker. AMAZING applications, with some pretty entertaining stories and humor- would highly recommend it to all you Momma's out there! Anyway, the chapter that I read today was call "Nacho Average Bunny". Hatmaker tells a story of a little Hispanic boy in a street VBS program that draws a picture of a cuddly bunny rabbit holding a knife- go figure! She paralleled this to a passage in Matthew 10:16...
"I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be
as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."
Jesus said this to his disciples while He was commissioning them to go out into the world. Hatmaker goes on to say that "shrewd" in the original Greek meant "wise and prudent"- constant awareness, discernment, saying the right thing at the right time. She goes on to compare and apply that to how we should be as Mommy's ....
"It's the opposite of clueless. It's the mom who sizes up a situation and watches for social cues and red flags...It's the Mom who realizes she's parenting in an ever-changing world full of landmines and trapdoors. Shrewd parenting is ever diligent, never allowing apathy or naivete' to blind us while the enemy claims our children."
Wow! That was so powerful to me- I've been learning a lot about specifically praying for William, for his future plans, his health, growth and protection. But this made is very black/white to me that even the smallest of our children are a target of the enemy! Hatmaker then addressed the next part of the verse that refers to "being as innocent as doves". The meaning of this passage can be misconstrued and used in making the decision to, "avoid the landmines, raise their children in innocence and choose to be "shrewd" by simply sequestering them from the world. If we create a Utopian environment, bubble-wrapped in Christian sub-culture, then perhaps our kids will emerge as Jesus Juniors."
Ouch! Isn't this often times what a lot of us try to do with our children, only socializing with our safe church friends, at church pre-school, church play groups...This seems like the right thing to do, right? This paragraph caused me to look back over relationships I've had in the past- some of these were "bubble wrapped" children, and unfortuately, because they were not exposed to what Jesus intended for the rest of this commissioning purposed, when they tore off their bubble wrap and entered in to the real world, they became everything but "Jesus Juniors". They were devoured by the enemy through things that were unfamiliar and interesting to them. The innocence mentioned in this passage refers not to all the things we as Christians do or do not do, but that we are "inoffensive".
As the devotion reads on the author points to the very first passage of scripture that very explicitly states that He is sending the disciples OUT! Not to the church next door, or to a different Christian school (although there are definite needs there). He was sending His disciples (which we now have the privilege of being) out into the places were He went. She goes on to say, "Jesus sent us into this broken world not to defend him, but to represent him. We are to talked to those he talked to, say the kinds of things he said, and love those he loved- without polluting our message with judgment and offensiveness. We have missed the point if our worldview involves fighting against culture as our enemy; we imitate our Savior when we fight for culture as loved people who have yet come to know their Creator."...that statement got to me big time. It's just so much easier to live our separate lives away from things we don't understand or agree with. But, Jesus sees these people as broken and lonely and desperate for Him.
Okay, so I realize I have not actually written the majority of this post myself, but just felt led to put it out there! I would LOVE to hear your thoughts and reactions to it- I will close with the most impacting part of the chapter for me- this is the kind of Mama I want to be, so that William with be a man of God that sees the "God-shaped" hole in the hearts of people, before the differences in the way they choose to live.
"We do our children a tragic disservice to raise them in a seclusion, falsely detaching them from the world they've been sent to help redeem (that's why our kids are here!). What kind of disciples are we making when our children enter the real world as shocked and clueless young adults, ill-equipped to connect with the spiritually disoriented and unable to make sense of their environment? In an effort to protect their innocence, we send them out naive and unprepared: bunnies without knives, vulnerable, defenseless. Your kids should be praying regularly for the kids in the school and neighborhood. They should learn to befriend the loner, the loser, the lost. They need to hear from you, "we don't judge. We love." Be the happy home where people apart from God feel welcomed. They will learn innocent shrewdness-or not- from you. It is not your responsibility to raise perfect prototypes of holiness, fir to set on a pedestal and admire. Your job is to send your children into this world as disciples who understand their mission and who will contend for God's glory!"
Whew! Can I get am amen!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
No mediocre plans for me, thanks!
I spent this Wednesday morning with 2 of my favorite Mommies playing with our boys in the backyard, watching them play with dump trucks and venture up the ladder and down the slide more times than I can count. William and I sat on the bench swing and sang “The B-I-B-L-E” together. The sun was out and good conversation abounded. Before I knew it, I looked at my watch and realized the morning had already passed and it was time to leave for my doctor’s appointment. One of my friends had graciously offered to keep William while I was gone, so I left all of them in the backyard to go in hopes of being back in enough time to get in on the fun again before nap time.
I got in my van and made my way down the road, and as I pulled into the parking lot of my OB-GYN, darkness descended. This office had become a very sad place for me. Watching women with round watermelon bellies waddle in and out - while remembering the last time I was there I left through the doors with tears streaming down my face, at the loss of another sweet baby. I walked through the doors, signed in and sat down to read my book until my name was called. As I sat there I just felt hopelessness and heartache seeping into my soul- something that really frustrated me, I had victory over this, I hadn’t felt this way for weeks! Why did I have to be here now? The answer was, because the doctor likes to make sure everything is okay 4 weeks after your loss. And, little did I know, God had a great lesson for me within the walls of this building I had grown to loathe!
My name was called and I got “comfy” in the little square shaped room waiting to see Dr. Tope. I sat there playing the questions over in my head that I wanted to be sure to remember to ask her. She came in and we began to talk about all that had happened, how I was feeling…etc. etc. My main question was, “Is there anything I can be doing to help prevent this from happening again?”…When I had my first miscarriage I thought, well this is a pretty common thing, it’s horrible and painful, but happens to a lot of women. Then, when the second one happened I began to really wonder if I was doing something wrong, or if there was something wrong with me..? Dr. Tope’ responded by telling me to take prenatal vitamins and that they had a panel of tests that they usually give after 3 miscarriages to narrow down causes that she would go ahead and run on me. The list of tests was about a mile long! So, I walked down to the little “lab” section that I have become so well acquainted with- going twice a week for 3 weeks until all the pregnancy hormones had dissipated for 2 lost pregnancies, you get pretty cozy with the lady with the needles…seriously, she and I are good friends! She understands that I am a wimp when it comes to needles and she’s seen me “grow up” through all the blood I’ve had to give! She used to make me lie down so I wouldn’t pass out, and now I sit up in the chair like a big girl! (that may sound silly to some, but my sisters will appreciate it- especially since they used to make fun of me, but have both recently passed out in a doctor’s office- or was it the elevator right outside? Haha!) Anyway, she came at me with 9 vials to be filled with my blood- seriously, 9! Anyway, as I say there having the “life” drained out of me- or it sure felt like it- that peace that passes any and all of our feeble understanding came to my heart and filled me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. It was a moment where I could literally feel His presence- and with it came that joy that can only come from Him. It was as though He was just pouring it out of a pitcher (guess this could go back to the whole lemonade analogy) onto my head…it ran into every crevice and corner of my heart until I was filled to bursting. As I sat there I just began to share with the phlebotomist the promises and hope that my God had for me. That I was praying and hoping and confident that the next time we would meet would be for happy reasons! Then and there it became so clear to me that my joy and the future of my family did not rely on, and would not be changed by any vitamin I could take, or any of the 25 tests that would be run on all that blood she was drawing . All the answers were being held in His strong, mighty and more than capable hands. Modern medicine is a blessing and I believe a gift from God that betters our lives- don’t’ get me wrong. But at that moment all I could think of were His promises- to give me a hope and a future. At that moment, being still I just knew that the plans that He has for our family are so much more amazing than I could ever dream up or fathom (watching William everyday is pure evidence of that!) or control and change with my own efforts and plans…and without our surrendering to Him being Lord over those plans, we would have nothing but mediocre results!
"When God comes down, He removes the immovable difficulties. When God comes down, the impossible becomes reality. God moves on behalf of the one who waits. " Anonymous
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