Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Tap dancing...

I am the mother of a tap dancer. Chances are, if your child is 3, you are too. We spend most of our days dancing around on the line between obedience and disobedience, and it is not fun! After our “Dream Come True #2” was born in February I half way expected some changes in behavior, jealousy...and all those wonderful things that come along with having to share the throne when you are used to being Prince. But, we are now almost 7 months out from our little brother’s birth-day and we are still just dancing away! I have been coasting along at my very wits end of weeks now, not really knowing what to do- and having such a hard time feeling like a failure as a Mama.
Enter, God.
I had a very heartbreaking “aha” moment about a week ago. The Lord spoke to my heart (because I took a break from my miserable pity party to listen!) and I realized that I had not been praying in a very specific way for these needs in the life of my family. During this time I was reading chapter 3 in the book Radical, by David Platt. This chapter focuses on coming to the end of ourselves and relying on His power and His Spirit to accomplish what He would have in our lives- then He receives the glory. I realized that all along there had been a life source right in my own heart that I had failed to tap into. The reason that nothing was proving effective was because I was relying on my own wonderful ideas and strategies- and well, that was not working so well! I have begun to just specifically pray throughout the day for my brown eyed boy. Asking God to just give me a window into his little mind, the ability to understand his heart, and truth to speak into His life. I have come to realize that no matter how many parenting books I read (although I think these are helpful), no matter how much advice I can glean from others- the power of God is the only thing in this world that can change hearts- beginning with mine.
As I write this, I’m coming to the realization that we tap dance with God too- back and forth on the line between doing things on our own and relying on His perfect power.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5
There’s no denying the message in this verse of scripture. We can do nothing without Him! So, as I continue this journey of retraining my dance steps as well as those of my little boy- I am trusting in Him for it all.....and thankful for the opportunity for God, as Platt puts it, “to exalt my inability” in order to come to a place of reliance on Him and the power only He can provide.
PS- If you know the Mama of a 3 year old...take a minute to pray for her! 